A mock symposium of satirical monologues reflecting upon whether or not Bush exists.
Different voices with different perspectives with 101 Reasons Why None Of This Is Bush's Fault!

TWO WEEKENDS ONLY!

Friday, February 24th 8 pm
Saturday, February 25th, 8 pm
Sunday, February 26th 2 & 8 pm
Friday, March 3rd 8 pm
Saturday, March 4th 8 pm
Sunday, March 5th 2 & 8 pm

At Liberty Hall
311 N Ivy, Portland, OR 97211

Cost is $5-20 sliding scale

Description of Show (based on the book):
ALIENS STOLE BUSH'S BRAIN
Selections from the National Symposium
"The Nature and Meaning of George W. Bush"
The National Bush Symposium is in full swing, and participants from all across the country are taking the stage to interpret the nature and meaning of our 43rd president. Featured selections include:

From Chapter 1: “DOES BUSH EXIST?”
(Presenter: Marian Rutherford, Ph.D., Professor of Philosophy, U.C. Berkeley)

... The philosopher René Descartes famously remarked: “I think, therefore I am.” At first glance, that assertion would seem to rule Bush out altogether, as far as any question of existence is concerned. Closer scrutiny of Descartes’ statement, however, reveals that thinking is merely a possible consequence of existence, not a precondition. Lime Jell-O®, for instance, does not think; yet it exists. A similar line of reasoning may be applicable in the case of George W. Bush ...

From Chapter 2: “OOPS, HE DID IT AGAIN: George W. Bush, Pop Culture Icon”
(Presenter: Erin McKenzie, Student Body President, Ridgecrest High School, White Plains, NY)

... Well, but anyway, let’s just say George W. Bush made it through to, like, the final round, which was the Supreme Court. And this time Bush ended up winning the popular vote in the Supreme Court, by 5-4, so that meant he became president.

They also had a whole lot of earlier rounds, which I didn’t mention, like the primaries and the conventions and stuff like that, where people got voted off. Like they do on “Survivor.” In fact, it would be really cool to have a reality show called “Election Survivor,” about people running for president, or whatever. Then George W. Bush could be on it. He’d be so cool! He’d be like that guy on “Jeopardy!” where he won like 700 weeks in a row, or something. Can you imagine? It would be totally awesome ...

From Chapter 3: “TAKE OUR PRESIDENT ... PLEASE!”
(Presenter: Jo-Jo Lennux, Comedian)

It’s great to see so many of you here this evening. No, really. The last place I played was the Donald Rumsfeld Fan Club. Half of the seats were empty. Literally. One of their two members couldn’t make it that night.

No, but seriously. Rumsfeld was great about it. He told me not to worry. He said: “Just play to the fan I have, not the fans I’d like to have.”

But let me tell you, it’s not easy to have friends these days. Especially in politics. Take George W. Bush, for instance. Did you know George W. was friends with God? Sure. They talk all the time. Great friends. Or they used to be. That was before Bush told God: “You’re either with me, or against me.”

So, later on, Bush tries to make it up to God. He says: “Listen. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll ban the teaching of evolution in our public schools. It’ll be just Creationism from now on.” And God says: “You’re kidding.” He says: “You’re kidding me, right? I mean, any deity can put a planet together in six days. I spent billions of years on evolution! And now you’re not even going to teach it?” ...

From Chapter 4: “THE DIVINE MISUNDERESTIMATIONS: A Taoist-Freudian-Evangelical Interpretation Of The Master’s Own Words”
(Panel: Dr. Lao Ji-Yan, Beijing / Herr Dr. Zigmund Hoffmeier, Stuttgart / Rev. Lazarus Tulley, Atlanta
Moderator: Professor Marian Rutherford, Ph.D., Symposium Chair)

Rutherford: ... Now, on September 24, 2001, George W. Bush told the Prime Minister of Canada at the time, Jean Chretien: “Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.” Dr. Hoffmeier?

Hoffmeier: I think Mr. Bush, as president, is representing himself here symbolically as America. By referring to border relations between Canada and Mexico, he tells us of his deep anxiety that, at some unconscious level, he himself does not exist. A possibility you explored earlier today, in your introductory remarks.

Rutherford: Indeed. So – a cry for help, then?

Hoffmeier: Very much a cry for help. This is a deep-seated neurosis, again probably originating from his childhood, when he grew up around people more educated than himself.

Rutherford: Is there a connection here, then, with his assertion on August 29, 2002: “There’s no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide”?

Hoffmeier: A strong connection, yes. Here, we see that the same neurosis has become more pronounced. He again substitutes himself for America, telling us there is no cave deep enough or dark enough for him to hide in. These are powerful symbols of the unconscious mind. The “cave” is suggesting perhaps a desire to return to the womb; that he wishes, in a sense, that he had never been born.

Rutherford: Reverend Tulley, you look as if you disagree?

Tulley: Yes, I do. I see a more hopeful symbolism in the president’s words. Just as the cave where Our Lord was laid after the crucifixion proved neither deep enough nor dark enough to hide His light, so in America’s case shall the “fire of freedom” sweep forth across continents, as a beacon for the entire world.

Rutherford: So, this quote signifies freedom?

Tulley: Freedom, definitely. And world peace.

Hoffmeier: Also, that Canada and Mexico still won’t have border relations.

Rutherford: Very true. Dr. Lao: “There’s no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide.” Your thoughts?

Lao: The Master describes the way of the Tao. He is saying: “What is dark, is light; what is hidden, is in plain sight; what is deep, is lifted up.”

Rutherford: Yet, at face value, his words don’t sound all that optimistic?

Lao: As the Master revealed to us on June 15, 2004: “If you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look.”

Rutherford: That’s right; he did. Can you describe that a little more?

Lao: The Tao tells us: “The harder you look, the less you find.” Yet, if you search among the depths, you will find even what you do not seek. This is why the Master also revealed, on September 21, 2003: “I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories.”

Rutherford: And perhaps why he also said: “I’m the master of low expectations”?

Lao: The Master honors the Tao by seeking the path of humility. He acquaints himself with the glorious, yet keeps to the lowly ...

and much more....

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